Novelty Christmas Toilet Paper

I realise that the heading alone is sufficient, really, but as I always say, why use four words when fifty will do?  The concept of this has disturbed me since I was forced to buy some because that was all that the shop had left.  In what parallel realm do the designers of that product exist where wiping your backside on a child’s drawing of a snowman and a pine tree makes you feel more festive?  I mean, quite aside from the fact that our cave-dwelling ancestors knew not to wipe with the branches of a %8&+$! pine tree, seeing the childish doodling on each perforated sheet  has reduced the subsequent action performed to some kind of moral equivalence with stealing the bobble-hat of a four year old out playing in the snow and using the pom-pom instead!  Novelty Christmas Toilet paper!  Sometimes I worry about people…

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